short story: Sanctum

Blog. sanctum photo

The growl of morning traffic could just be heard on the town’s main road to Manchester. Heavy glass doors made the Roman columned foyer an effective noise barrier for the carpeted inner sanctum, where Lucy sat on her squat stool, facing the last row of 800s. She checked her watch. Another ten minutes before counter duty started: enough time to finish the non-fiction.

Leaning forward, stretching upward, plucking from here, deftly inserting there, chopping, patting the bindings until all were aligned and standing to attention. Lucy polished off the section, setting the stragglers upright and in order. Then, picking up her plastic seat, she leapfrogged her sitting colleague Jane, and got to work on the 920s, the hallowed corner of biographies. This was where particular focus was required. The temptation to let a glance linger, until it devolved into submersion, deep in the details of another’s life, would only be kept at bay by the clock, in this instance.

“Marlowe’s here,” Jane announced in Lucy’s ear as they started their counter shift together.

Quickly noticing his constant, sleuth-like presence, the staff had baptized him Marlowe. He always either stood with one knee bent, lower legs crossed, leaning against a shelf support, or sat in one of the lone armchairs in the reference section. Whatever his favoured spot of the day, his head was inevitably bowed over a book clasped in his hands or cradled in his arms.

Yet his stillness was an illusion. They had watched over that shifting of feet, an infinitesimal tilting of head, twitching of hands, grimacing; then the short, sudden exhaling through the nose, with a barely perceptible quake of the shoulders.

Soon after his first appearance, Jane had commented on his resemblance to a hired killer, disguised as a homeless drunk. However, as the weeks had gone by, Marlowe was a shadow that inspired no fear, only quiet curiosity.

Lucy could see him from her position behind the checking out counter, as usual lost to the reality around him, wrapped up in a memoir. She understood that about him at least. Otherwise he was secrecy personified.

***

Tapping his fingers on the counter while he waited, the man known as Marlowe suddenly broke off, furious at himself for running the risk of attracting attention. What people thought of him, was beyond his reckoning; his was the horror they thought of him at all.

“Can I help you, young man?”

The trace of irritation in Lucy’s voice startled him. He tried to control his dismay as he watched this short but fierce-looking librarian approach him from behind the counter.

“Ah, yes, sorry. Ah-hmm.”

Marlowe silently cursed his drumming fingers for potentially initiating hostilities with a desperately needed ally.

“You aren’t closed for the holidays, are you?”

He could not keep the tremor from his voice, and hated himself all the more.

“Oh, no, we’re open all next week. No worries!”

Lucy was melting in smiles. His vulnerability cued an instinctive softening.

“Normal schedule, my dear!”

“Thank you!”

Straightening up, he was re-humiliated by the realization he had been hunched up in semi-fetal position over the counter.

He also became aware of the eyes of several other staff upon him; one seated at the nearby enquiry desk, and two more behind Lucy, as they paused in their shelving duty.

Marlow quelled panic by allowing an underground river to rise to the surface: a rush of gratefulness. Would this gathering of late-middle-aged women ever understand how they presided over the sanctuary of his soul? Could this sisterhood of priestesses truly fathom his lostness, this salvation?

***

Lucy saw his hesitation, sensed a battle. Although Marlowe was half her age, she was abruptly reminded of her father, a man tormented by a past, by circumstances beyond his control. He had made it through a World War, only to lose his mental health, and subsequently, his first family.

Marlowe needed an escape, and Lucy would find him one.

“Here you are, love: some of the latest biographies just come in.”

Lucy brought three books from a lower shelf and placed them in front of Marlowe.

“Have a peruse, and see if any take your fancy,” she said, nodding in the direction of the reference section.

Marlowe needed no more prompting. Scooping the books off the counter, he headed for the refuge of a beloved armchair.

 

 

First published in The Sunlight Press:  http://bit.ly/2Q36HlV

 

Poem: Garden Path Revisited

path

Gold on green

Sunlight kisses sway

Freshness, affinity

Absorb into my bones, yet

Layered in the undergrowth

A waiting

 

Time

You perplexing burden

Heavy hypnotising snake

Unfathomable

Unfolding and unleashing

Years upon seasons

Generations

This torrent vanishing all

I know

 

Caught in the current

 

We are

I am

 

But not lost

 

 

First published in enclave: http://enclave.entropymag.org/finalpoem-from-ann-van-wijgerden/

 

 

2020 Benediction Prayer

benprayer2020

May God empower us, free us and humble us

To be His hands and feet

To be a blessing

Wherever we go

Wherever we are

Whether the world is watching or not.

 

Indeed may God deliver us from the need to be seen and applauded

So we might grow in the realization of a new freedom

To enter the hidden pastures and wide open spaces of His pleasure

 

May we enjoy the blessing of each other’s company as never before.

May each of us also enjoy our own company

In rich moments of reflection and silence and blissful aloneness

Soaking in the Companionship of our Savior.

 

May we take increasingly bold steps together

Challenging the frontiers of our comfort zones

Discovering divine courage and wisdom in our leaps of faith

As we protect the vulnerable and give voice to the voiceless.

 

And together may we taste more and more of His unity

So that, by His unfathomable grace,

We might be living evidence of His love.

 

First shared @church_arc:

 

poem: Elephantine

elephantine

For those being killed in the Philippines’ ‘War on Drugs’

 

Let’s call it out

that fluorescently scarlet

elephant in the room

 

Murder

the elected tool

of preference

 

Sweep away those

we don’t understand,

don’t want to deal with

 

Obscene reversal

not caring for the poor,

we cull them

 

Burst that elephantine balloon

blood stains across

our faces, our hands

 

Lament

and come to our senses

 

 

First published in ‘Orbis, Quarterly International Literary Journal’

poem: Dawn

Dawn sky

Dawn

lark fills hollow halls 

of vastness, uncontainable 

sweet echoes of loneliness

 

Clouds scud the sky

impervious to my meanderings

 

Nature rebukes my quibbling

with the beauty of her ignoring

 

Yet embracing

 

Indemnatum

this unknown inclusivity

 

I am

the alien

immigrant, refugee

here

 

 

 

First published in Orbis; Quarterly International Literary Journal

Poem: Earthenware

earthenware

Words hit the wheel

Slapped down soil

Grounded centre

Quality tested

Strained as

Spinning out

To impress

But will these mud walls

Hold all

I want to say

 

Kiln dried and glazed

Hues to please

Consenting eye

But all too brittle

Too small

To contain

Truth’s edge

Baked out earth losing

The voice

Entrusted me

 

Yet arching forms

Draw me in

To living clay

Beyond the vessel

For love

For freedom

Brokenness

Binds shards in gold

Our tears

Will mould

 

Our story

 

 

 

 

 

 

First published in The Voices Project: http://www.thevoicesproject.org/poetry-library/earthenware-by-ann-van-wijgerden

poem: Re-entry Commute

commute

circle of friends shrunk to a

cavernous zero

digital chatter

silenced

washed up on the shore

of independence

ejected from the sea

of circumstance

 

ripple of dark over green

velvet shimmering

ruffle of time caught

in a vision of fields

skimming the tracks between cities

of purpose

glorified limbo

 

melts

 

sweeping down stairways

surfing through tunnels

the magnificence

of this animal

humanity

 

 

First published in ‘Voice of Eve’:

https://issuu.com/richardholleman/docs/voiceofeve_issue16